Welcome back one and all to my actual show review for SEW’s King Of The Summer Rumble. My last post (right here if you need a recap) was about how the event was set up and all the backstage bits you don’t normally see. This, this is about the show itself. So sit back, put your feet up (Ollie, if you’re reading this in your usual place, please don’t do that), and enjoy my rendition of an awesome nights entertainment……
South East Wrestling’s King Of The Summer Rumble 2016
MC Masters (if he ever decides to get into the music business and uses that name, I’m claiming royalties!) greets the crowd and runs down the nights events. The King Of The Summer Rumble match would be the very first match of the evening, involving eight competitors. It would be fought under standard rumble rules (two men start and every two minutes another competitor would enter the match until all eight have entered. Only way of elimination is being thrown over the top rope and BOTH feet touch the floor). The last man standing would be declared the winner and be given a contract to face the SEW Champion on October 29th.
Also, tonight, new SEW Champion Van Wicked will take on former champion JD Knight.
And without further ado, here comes entrant number one for the King Of The Summer Rumble…..
Match One – King Of The Summer Rumble
A lion roars around the hall and Eddie Ryan makes his way down the ramp to his music, high fiving the children that came ringside to greet him, rolls into the ring and takes in the noise from his fans. Soon after entrant number two Tiger Ali makes his way down, waving his flag to garner as much heat (insider wrestling term for boos, you’re welcome) as possible. With senior referee Dan Hall (hope you like your promotion dude!) outside the ring, ready to see if any entrant’s feet touch the floor.
The crowd are raucous and as soon as Tiger Ali rolls into the ring, Eddie is there to pick him up and attempt to throw him over the top rope, but to no avail. Ali, slides back under the bottom rope and escapes to the opposite corner. For the next ninety seconds or so, the two are involved in a battle to throw each other over the top rope until the countdown begins and entrant number three makes his way down…
The all too familiar tones of The Ramones fills the hall followed by “Hey Ho….Lets Go!” (seriously what a great choice of entrance music) and out comes Will Power (Luis) to make his pro wrestling debut! I can hear all the Academy boys and girls scream the place down for him as he wipes his feet and enters the ring…..Only to be met by a boot to the bread basket (Hey Gorilla!) from Tiger Ali! Eddie Ryan soon comes to Will’s aid and ties up Tiger as Will shushes the crowd and, Ric Flair style, chops the chest of Ali! Power returns the favour and ties up Ali again as Eddie unleashes a stiff chop to the chest of Tiger. He’s not having a great start!
The next minute or so, interspersed with a small comeback spot from Ali, is about Will and Eddie trying to throw Tiger Ali over the top rope, again to no avail. Another countdown means a new entrant is imminent…..
Entrant four is Jonny D, and he’s in a rush to hit the ring, no playing to his adorning air guitar wanting fans tonight! Sliding under the bottom rope, Jonny instantly makes a bee line for Ali and kicks him down in a corner. Followed by doing the exact same thing to Will and Eddie too. Then back to Will to pick him up and dispose of him over the top rope, like an unwanted groupie at one of his gigs! There’s no friendships in a Rumble folks, every man to himself!
With that going on in one corner, Eddie finally had Ali over the top rope! But Tiger landed on the apron and climbed back into the ring. Only four men in the ring and too much action for me to video. What’s it going to be like when we get more in there?…..Find out soon enough as the countdown begins again!
With Will giving a great account of himself so far it was time for entrant five……Meathead! Out he came though the curtain, towel on his head, Slipknot blaring over the PA system! Again I could hear the Academy students roar before the rest of the crowd did, giving them an indication that he was one of our own, like we did with Luis. Meat (only his friends can call him that!) raced to the ring and instantly dealt out his own style of a beatdown onto Will! Punches, knees, kicks, Will tasted them all. With Powers weakened by the blows, Meathead took advantage and moved him into position to be thrown out the ring. All the while Eddie was still battling with Tiger Ali while Jonny D was taking a breather in a neutral corner.
The action tuned up a few notches when everybody decided to get involved with everyone else! I couldn’t keep up! Moving my phone around trying to capture shots of everyone in action. Will had Jonny D in the corner, dishing out some painful stomach punches, Tiger and Meathead were double teaming Eddie, literally action everywhere!
It was about to get a tad bit more hectic in there when the next entrant was announced….Abel! He made his way purposely slow to the ring, not in any rush to get in and waste any more energy than he needed to. When he did finally decide to enter the ring, he walked straight up to Jonny D and proceeded to pummel him senseless. Tiger Ali took a major risk by scaling the turnbuckle to drop a double axe handle on Eddie Ryan, but was met with a solid right hook into his stomach upon landing.
At this point the crowd were super loud! All screaming out in support of their fave wrestler, telling them to watch out for all the other competitors. Eddie even took the flag from Ali’s flag pole and used it to choke him out over the top rope! I thought this was a family friendly show?!?!
Countdown again…..A slight mix up with the PA guys and Conroy makes his way to the ring to the punk beats of Will Power’s Ramone song. Undeterred, Conroy begins to pound Jonny D with solid forearm shots to the face! A “Let’s Go Conroy!” chant fills the hall, making me believe that he really has got over with the crowd as a firm fan favourite. With the scene in the ring best described as an all out free for all, Meathead hitting a baseball slide on Eddie Ryan, Abel just casually strolling around the ring kicking anyone that gets in his way, and Conroy hitting his CC (Conroy Cutter, you know who I’m talking too!) on an unsuspecting Jonny D, who took it like a pro but rolled to safety.
The last countdown of the evening, and an all too familiar tune filled the room…..the Star Wars theme tune! Logan looked at me convinced that Darth Vader was about to walk out and force choke everyone out of the ring! Unfortunately for him he was to be disappointed. The last entrant was in fact “Crippler” Gilligan Gordon, who strode down to the ring like a member of royalty. When he made it into the ring, he went straight for Conroy. Grabbing him around the back of the head, picking up steam, he went to throw him over the top rope! But Conroy reversed the move and ended up eliminating Gilligan instead! The crowd went ballistic when Crippler hit the floor outside the ring in a heap! Conroy looked surprised at the turn of events and wasn’t suitably prepared for what would happen next!
Gordon was steaming angry after being humiliated by the young rookie, so he dived back into the ring, delivered a vicious DDT to Conroy and with the help of Abel, threw him over the top rope, therefore eliminating him. The crowd were incensed and showered Gilligan with abuse! All the while this was happening, Abel then went and eliminated Will Power while Tiger Ali threw Meathead over the top rope, giving him a quick kick in the back as he flew over the ropes.
This left Abel, Eddie Ryan and Tiger Ali as the last three men standing. Things didn’t look good for Eddie when Ali and Abel decided to team up to eliminate Ryan. Beating him down to the mat, Abel picked Ryan up and told Ali to deliver a devastating right hook. As Ali went to deliver the punch, Ryan moved and Tiger connected with Abel instead, leaving him stunned and hanging off the ropes. Eddie moved in and threw Abel over the top rope eliminating him! Leaving just the first two entrants left as the final two. Eddie Ryan v Tiger Ali!
Ali charged at Ryan, who sidestepped out of the way and helped Tiger over the top rope! Eddie wins!….Or does he? Ali skinned the cat (ala Shawn Michaels Royal Rumble 1996. Google it folks!), climbed back into the ring, only to be met with a superkick from Ryan that lays him out flat on the canvas. Eddie does the decent thing and picks up Tiger and throws him over the top rope like he was trash……Ryan wins!
Eddie collapses to the canvas after being in the match for well over 20 minutes, overcome with fatigue. Senior referee Dan Hall raises Eddie’s hand and Ryan bounces to his feet, filled with adrenalin. Climbing the turnbuckles he acknowledges the crowd and thanks them for helping him for his victory. Eddie now has a contract to face the winner of the JD Knight v Van Wicked championship match at the October 29th Halloween Show!
Match Two – Tiger Ali vs Jonny D
Now if you remember, on my last show review, there was a slight technical failure which in turn resulted in no report for one of the matches on the card. Guess what? It only happened again here. I am more than pissed (and I don’t like to swear in print so that kinda shows how annoyed I really am) that it’s happened again. I thought I had recorded this match along with every other match on the card. But upon checking the very next day, there was no recording of this match.
I am so, so sorry to Tiger Ali, Jonny D, and you readers. Once is forgivable but twice means I’m stupid. I should have had a plan B (much like Triple H) but I didn’t. I can’t apologise enough so I’ll stop right now and give you my thoughts about the match rather than an actual review.
Tiger Ali came out waving his flag around generating enough heat (remember the term class?) to warm up my nan’s living room on a cold December evening. The crowd were booing the bejesus out of him.
Jonny D was warmly welcomed by the Hawking faithful. Jamming on his air guitar as he made his way down to the ring, even performing some double air guitar with a few lucky fans. Jonny looked a tad bit different this evening. Gone was the face fuzz (beard to you and me), leaving a rather younger looking Jonny. He was also giving off a Cactus Jack/Mick Foley kinda vibe tonight too, with Jonny usual denim jacket gone for the evening and being replaced with a white and black flannel shirt. I was hoping for an elbow from the apron to the outside tonight, but I don’t remember seeing it.
The crowd were 100% behind Jonny, booing Ali at every opportunity. But that didn’t phase him at all as he claimed the victory with a Camel Clutch (I think, don’t quote me on that!)
Again I apologise profusely to you guys and girls. At the next event, I can guarantee you that I’ll have a plan B (that doesn’t involve a heel turn) and I will give you all the match report you deserve.
Match Three – JD Knight vs Van Wicked (c) for the SEW Championship
JD Knight, the former champion, made his way to the ring and took the mic from MC Masters (loving that name the more I type it). He basically cut a very good, well spoken promo about his chiselled good looks and the fact that Lomaxx lost him his belt at the Summer Spectacular show (recap right here) and he will regain the belt he never lost tonight!
The crowd disagreed with him and booed away at him…..Until Van Wicked made his entrance. The crowd went wild for the champion, with the kids at ringside lining up for a quick hug and high five as he made his way to the ring.
As Wicked was playing to the fans, blowing kisses at them as he stepped through the ropes, JD kicked the middle rope and caught VW right in the grapefruits! Low blow ref!
Van Wicked crashed to the mat in pain but was soon picked up and thrown through the middle rope onto the floor in a heap, as JD picked his the belt he never lost and paraded around the ring with it.
Without the match bell actually being rung by senior referee Dan Hall, the match quickly degenerated into a brawl outside the ring. Knight took D_advantage of his grapefruit swollen adversary and beat him around the ringside area from pillar to post….literally. Wicked reversed an irish whip into the ringpost, sending JD into it instead. The crowd were hotter than a ghost chilli covered in habanero sauce, screaming at the top of their voices “JD SUCKS!” It really was deafening.
Van Wicked rolled the prone JD Knight back into the ring and climbed onto the top turnbuckle to deliver a double axe handle to the head. But at the last minute, JD moved and caught Wicked with a gut shot, turning VW inside out and flat on his back on the canvas.
JD in control of the match now, with slow methodical strikes and kicks, not wasting energy at all, mixing it up with reverse chin locks every now and then. The crowd are going crazy with more JD sucks chants as Knight is slowly wearing down Van Wicked.
Some corner chop attacks on the weary Wicked now followed by a strong whip into the opposite corner, which bring VW to his knees. Knight, trying to get the crowd to chant JD rocks, but instead getting back even more JD sucks chants, runs at Van Wicked but is met with a knee to the face. Sensing his opportunity, VW climbs the turnbuckle again for another high risk maneuver, but again is thwarted by JD as he runs across and throws him across the ring onto his back (much like every time Ric Flair ever went to the tope turnbuckle).
Quick cover from JD by only a two count. Straight back into a reverse chin lock and as Wicked was slipping into unconsciousness Knight went for another pin. Again another two count.
JD Knight reversed a whip into the ropes from Van Wicked into a Sky High (D-Lo Brown’s old finishing move) for another two! Wicked certainly has the heart of a champion. With that kick out, he has fresh wind in his sails and takes the offensive. A few stomps onto Knight and again Wicked is running up to the top turnbuckle. When will he ever learn?!?……This time VW actually hits a sweet flying cross body block from the top and instantly into a two count near fall! The crowd are 100% behind him now!
Upon getting up from the mat, Van Wicked does his (and The Undertaker’s cut throat gesture) and attempts another high impact move. But JD instead picks up Wicked into an AA (John Cena’s finisher) position and parades to the crowd. Again another reversal and VW comes down from JD’s shoulders and attempts a German Suplex, but Knight had other ideas. Holding onto senior referee Dan Hall’s shirt, JD kicks his right leg back and up…..right into Van Wicked’s already swollen grapefruits! A blatant low blow that the referee didn’t see!
As Wicked crumpled to the canvas, Knight picked him and delivered a fantastic looking donkey kick DDT followed by a swift cover!
We have a brand new champ folks! JD Knight defeats (through scurrilous means) Van Wicked to recapture the SEW Championship!
Not content on winning back the title, JD went to attack Van Wicked again. Even to go as far as to deliver another donkey kick DDT, but Eddie Ryan came racing from the back to make the save! JD soon scarpered out of the ring, taking his newly won title with him as he back tracked up the ramp. Eddie grabbed a mic and told the new champion that the fine print on his own newly won title contract stated that he didn’t have to wait until October 29th for his match with the champion. And as JD was now champion, he’s brought the title match forward…..to later on tonight. He even said that JD could pick the match stipulation, to even things out. Visibly angry, JD walked back up the aisle shouting “YES” in response to the question. Looks like a second title match is on for later in the evening!
Intermission time. Just enough time to go outside and grab some fresh air as that hall was roasting!
Match Four – “Crippler” Gilligan Gordon vs “SEW Original” Conroy
With the crowd suitably calmed down after the events from the last match, the Star Wars theme tune rang around the hall walls and from behind the curtain came Gilligan Gordon to enter the ring.
Upon entering the ring, he grabbed MC Masters microphone (he’s gotta do a better job at protecting that microphone), and apologised for his actions in the Rumble earlier in the evening. He wants to invite Conroy out to the ring for a straight one on one match where he can prove that he doesn’t need to stoop to nasty tactics to gain a victory.
The all too familiar tune of the Kongos “Come With Me Now” hit and the place exploded! Conroy looked suitably hyped and ready for a tough match against someone double his size as he walked around the ring giving out high fives.
A hand shake from both men to start the match, and the action begins. A very technical start to the match as both mean trade headlocks, wristholds and armbars to a stalemate. Again another handshake from both men. Wasn’t expecting that from Gordon. For his size I thought he would bully Conroy around the ring.
More technical holds and escapes from both men again, finishing up with Gordon in a front face lock from Conroy. The crowd are going crazy here for Conroy. You all know he’s a close personal friend of mine but WOW the crowd are hot for him here tonight!
Another short exchange of hold and counter hold wrestling which is great to see in this day and age where it’s high spot after another with no story telling involved. Good stuff here from both guys that brings the crowd to applause in the next pause of the action.
Uh oh! The pace of the match changes when Gilligan asks for another handshake. Conroy duly agrees and goes to shake his hand, only to be met with a vicious slap to the face that was ringing around the hall! The crowd did not like that one bit! Crippler then, rather stupidly, extended his hand and awaited a handshake. But he too was met with a vicious slap across the face. I’m not lying, I saw the sweat from Gordon’s head fly off across the ring with that slap! Looks like the good will has left this match now!
A swift gut kick and Conroy is thrown outside by the incensed veteran back into the no mans landed otherwise known as the ringside area.Conroy was taking a beating outside, with Gordon making the most of the referee’s ten count, even rolling in and out of the ring to break the count. A stiff European uppercut lifted Conroy off his feet and flat on his back outside. A nasty move for a veteran like Gilligan but even more so for the so far untested rookie Conroy.
Gordon rolls Conroy back into the ring, and with the help of my trusty chanter Ollie, we began a “Let’s Go Conroy!” chant that spread like wildfire around the hall, but to no avail, as the “Crippler” kept up with the attack. Massive “You Suck” chants emanated from the Conroy Section which again spread around the hall.
Gilligan seemed a bit too interested in the Conroy Section, looking at them intently and trying to shut down their chants a bit too often, which was the turning of the tide for the wily veteran.
With Conroy prone on the mat, Gilligan looked over at the section of support for his opponent and went for a quite topical Vader Bomb from the middle turnbuckle. But it was countered by Conroy with the raising of his knees into the chest of the oncoming big guy. A running clothesline, a running back elbow all dropped Gilligan to the canvas. A Stinger splash in the corner once he had got to his feet was next for him, then the time honoured ten punch, complete with the crowd counting each punch. Things were heating up here!
After the ten punch, Conroy picked Gordon up into a Fisherman’s Suplex (I’m not kidding here, it was a thing of beauty from Conroy) which got the crowd, and myself, onto our feet! A two count soon followed, with the fans letting out a collective “ohhhhhhh” at the kick out from Gordon.
Conroy got to his feet, willing the fans along with him, for one last push, one last effort to win his first professional bout. With us all expecting the Conroy Cutter to be hit, Gordon reversed it and hit the very same DDT that caused Conroy to be eliminated from the Rumble earlier in the evening. The crowd were outrage as he went for the pin, but Conroy dug deep and kicked out at two and nine tenths! He was still in this match somehow!
With Gilligan punishing Conroy with nasty crossfaces, he hit the floor. Gordon was practically pleading with him to stay down. Senior referee Dan Hall intervened and pushed the Crippler back and out of the way. The veteran responded by pushing the referee backwards, who in turn pushed Gordon back, not taking any rubbish from him at all! But referee hall had inadvertently pushed back Gordon far enough so as he turned around he was met by the Conroy Cutter! The place went absolutely mental! Referee Hall went down and made the count….
SEW Original, Conroy had just registered his first ever victory! the place went even more bananas than it did a few seconds before! The floor was shaking, people were screaming, I was actually holding Logan in my arms jumping up and down like a lunatic jack in the box! It was a moment I will never ever forget…..and I wasn’t even in the match! This was undoubtedly Dan’s moment and he totally and utterly deserved it!
Rolling out of the ring, still unable to get his head around the fact that he had won, he was met by his son Aiden who hugged his warrior dad. This then opened the floodgates and every child in the hall came rushing to congratulate the newest star in SEW. If there was ever a feel good moment, this was it!
What. A. Match!
Match Five – Eddie Ryan vs JD Knight (c) for the SEW Championship
No Disqualification Match
With the place still rocking from what we just saw it was time for our unexpected main event.
As the champion was walking down to the ring, MC Masters (And DeeJay Ski?? What do you think?) announces to all in attendance that JD Knight has declared that this match will be a No DQ match! See this upset me a bit more than I thought. It was only in my last show review that I told you all that SEW isn’t the kind of promotion to have hardcore matches. And yet here I am, about to review a hardcore match in SEW!
Anyway, back to the review…..JD was accosted by many of the kids at ringside as he walked around the ring. Getting into his face and shouting “JD SUCKS!” at him. Gotta say, Mr Knight is great at generating heel heat without actually having to do anything! Bravo sir!
He entered the ring and awaited his challenger…..
There it is again! That loud lion roar and Eddie Ryan makes his way down to the ring in new ring attire. White trunks, boots and kneepads for the main event of the night. It took him a while to get to the ring as the children swarmed Eddie to offer their support. All the while Knight was pointing and shouting at him from inside the ring.
With the match introductions out of the way, the ring bell was rung and we were off! And so was JD as he went to hit Eddie in the face with his newly won championship belt, but Ryan ducked and responded with a few punches to the face and kicks to the stomach of JD while he was in the corner. Eddie then went to return the favour of the belt in the face but JD saw it coming and dived out of the ring to safety.
Knight had seen enough and started to walk to the back while the crowd chanted “Chicken” to him. Eddie chased after JD, who by this point had actually walked back though the curtain to the backstage area. All of a sudden you heard this commotion from backstage and a few seconds later JD is thrown through the curtain and back into the hall, while Ryan walks out clutching a huge garden bin with what looked like a lot of garden equipment (I think he had been saving up his B&Q vouchers for just such an occasion as this).
A swift double bin lid to the head of Knight was enough to send him scurrying away into the crowd for possibly the worst game of hide and seek I’ve ever seen. Knight literally sat a few feet away from me, shushing all and sundry around him, as Eddie tried to find him. In all actuality, it was pretty funny watching the kids tell Ryan where he was and JD shushing them down. I even got in on the act but Knight gave me a nasty look so I carried on filming the match…..
The two of them then proceeded to walk around the back of the entire hall, trading blows and using the environment to their advantage.
After a fair few minutes the pair returned to the ring to continue their battle for the gold., but not before Eddie went back to his garden bin of tricks to find a plant pot to put over the head of Knight, quickly followed by a bin over the plant pot head of Knight! It was like a really cheap version of a russian doll. This had the crowd in fits of laughter, so Eddie turned it up a notch, dug (see what I did there?) out a garden spade from his magical garden bin of wonderment, and smacked it across the bin covered JD Knight. A quick cover but a two count only.
With Knight still on the canvas, Ryan brought into the ring an aluminium ladder, and placed it in the corner of the ring. He then scaled it to about three quarter way up and dived off gracefully onto, what he thought was the still form of JD Knight. But he rolled out of the way at the last second and Eddie ate a faceful of canvas instead. Ever the opportunist, Knight quickly took advantage and went for a cover, but he too could only garner a two count.
With the roles now reversed, and JD now in control, he turned back to his dastardly (love this word, needs to be used more often, much like the word glorious) way and grabbed a garden hose pipe to choke out this evenings people’s champion. The action carried on again outside the ring with both vying for the upper hand. Items used in this part of the match were basically an Instagram photo frame, that was around the body of JD Knight, which Eddie used as chop practice on Knight’s exposed torso.
When the action returned to the ring, Eddie brought in with him an old favourite in the world of professional wrestling…..the steel chair! Setting it up in the middle of the ring, it looked like Ryan was going to suplex JD onto it, but Knight fought his way out of it and gave Ryan a russian leg sweep onto the chair instead. Another quick cover and Ryan kicks out at two.
The crowd are behind Eddie, urging him on to victory, all the while more and more “JD sucks” appear from little pockets around the hall. A double clothesline from the pair of them and the two crash to the mat like two zeppelins. Upon getting back to their feet, Ryan began to tune up the band (now I’m no lawyer, but surely there’s a case for gimmick infringement there?) and went for his superkick finisher. JD wasn’t worn down enough and knew what was coming and countered it into his Sky High for another two count.
Knight saw that the ladder from earlier was still in the corner and a devious plan began to emerge. He hooked Eddie into the suplex position and went to suplex him into the ladder. But Ryan was having none of it, and reversed it into a powerbomb opportunity onto the ladder. But he too took too long and JD reversed that into a back body drop, and Eddie went crashing back first into the aluminium (if I was American I’d call it steel, but it so wasn’t) ladder.
With the match now nearing the 20 minute mark, tiredness was setting on both competitors. JD knew that the pair of them couldn’t go on much longer at this pace so looked for a decisive knockout blow to win the match. that blow was his donkey kick DDT onto the steel chair! But even that only gave him a two count!
Incensed, Knight picked up the steel chair and begged at Ryan to get to his feet, just so he could knock his head clean off his shoulders with the steel chair. As commanded, Eddie got to his feet and as JD swung the chair he ducked. The result was the chair hitting the top rope and catching JD Knight square in the mush (English slang for face for all my non-UK fans!). He spun around, dazed and confused, and ate not one but TWO Eddie Ryan superkicks! Knight crashed to the mat and Ryan went for the cover…..
Second time tonight we have crowned a new SEW Champion, and this time the crowd went bananas once again! Children rushed ringside to congratulate Eddie as he took to the turnbuckles and showed everyone in attendance his newly won title. He really did look overjoyed at his victory and becoming the new SEW Champion.
And there we have it folks! Another great show from South East Wrestling, and in particular to me, a special show. My eldest daughter Christina came to this show, her first ever. And she’s never taken a liking to pro wrestling. Well this show changed all that. So much so that she even lost her voice as she was shouting and chanting so much. So thank you SEW management for two things. Number one – making my daughter a fan of pro wrestling, and number two – making her lose her voice so badly that we couldn’t hear a peep out of her for two whole days! Magical moments!
Now if you’re still here after reading this mammoth review, congrats. I’m nearly done in typing all this myself! As I said in my last blog post, if I included my blog with this post, it would have come in over 7k words which is a slog even for my die hard fans (still waiting for those answers on a postcard folks!).
I’ll only write these longer posts for show reviews only, so don’t worry, they won’t always be this long. The next show is on October 29th (have I plugged it enough?) so that a fair few weeks until the next one.
So until then, it’ll just be my usual training blogs, and maybe a special one too. We’ll see, depends on how this one is received.
Anyway, that’s enough waffling from me, I’ll let you go back to everyday life. I, on the other hand, have a promo to shoot involving SEW management, and a new client I would like to represent…….Spoilers!
Photos with black border courtesy of Claire Prescott Photography