Wrestling Ain’t Ballet Son – 26/3/17

Welcome once again true believer’s to another funny, action packed edition of my diary! How are we all? Very good I hope, much like myself. You see right now, at this exact moment of time, I’m on holiday!!! I’m not actually on holiday, I’ve got eight days off work, so no waking up at silly o’clock to get to work. No making hundreds of meals, just relaxation, quiet (well as much quiet as a five year old will give you), and plenty of time to get this edition written down and posted.

Now hopefully you remember my little teaser from last time? Where I said that today’s post will be about a new Academy member and an evolution? In case there’s a small minority of you that haven’t read my last posting (seriously, it was about the first ever SEW Academy show and how I stepped up and showed the world Mark Blake, how could you have not read dammit!) just click here to be taken to it and catch up. Now where was I?……

Oh yes, topic/theme of today’s post. I want to say that it’s all about moving forward. That if you’re standing still you’re actually moving backward while the rest of the world moves forward without you. Take a gander again at the picture at the top of the page for me please. That guy right there, whose in an extraordinary amount of pain, is one of my closest dudes, so close that I call him my brother. His name is Lee, and I’ll be writing about him and his first ever session at the SEW Academy and not just his evolution, but South East Wrestling’s evolution……

After the events of last weeks Academy show, my close friend and BFOM (Brother From Another Mother) Lee had decided that he would like to give wrestling training a go. He actually made his mind up at the close of Hustle & Heart. As us students were packing away the ring, chairs etc, he made his way over to Head Coach Matt and chewed his ear for ten minutes. After that he walked over to me and said that he was definitely coming to the next session. Elated that there was another member of the Ashford Posse joining, imagine my deflation when I was politely reminded that the next session would be taking place on Mother’s Day.

But after some sweet talking from our wonderful selves, we had managed to swing it with our WAGS (Wives And Girlfriends for those not in the know) and actually make it to the next session. It meant that we would be on dinner duty as soon as we got back, and wait on them hand and foot, but it’s a small price to pay. As I’ve told other’s before, wrestling isn’t a hobby it’s a lifestyle…..

Fast Forward a week and I’m on carpool duty. Dan C said he wasn’t making it to training this week as he, Justin (Silverrrrback) and Luke (Vega) had a try out for another local promotion but wished us all luck, more so for Lee. So I picked up Senior Referee and now pro wrestler (One Fan Dan) Daniel H and Lee and made our way to training.

Lee was very nervous even if he didn’t say so himself. He was very chatty and fidgety in the car, sure signs of his nervousness. We tried to calm him down by saying that as it’s your first lesson things should be easy as long as you make it past the cardio section. I hate the cardio section. Yes it’s a necessary part of training but so is not throwing up right after it, something I try not to do each week after cardio. I’ve now probably shot myself in the foot as H/C Matt reads my blogs, and will probably make it worse for me next session…..Gotta keep my mouth shut but I also need to entertain you true believers 🙂

Being the first to arrive we made our way into the Community Centre and started to get the ring up and ready for the morning’s action. Seeing as this was Lee’s first time at building the ring from scratch, I did what any other friend would do…..and left him to it. Hey! the same thing happened to me on my first session! Don’t judge me! 🙂

Fellow students began to pile into the hall and in no time at all the ring was set up (no thanks to me), big blue crash mats were ready to be used and everyone was ready for the warm up. Lee was definitely ready in his new shorts and enthusiasm, showing me up at every opportunity. But it was ok, I knew that cardio was next so I bided my time…..

Just a quick break in proceedings to shill some social media bits and bobs. I actually have a page on Facebook totally dedicated to this blog. It’s cunningly called “Diary Of A 30 Something Trainee Wrestler”, and you can find it at this link right here. I’d also like to plug mine and South East Wrestling social media too as I have your undivided attention.  Click the links, have a gander and if you’re feeling particularly nice, maybe gives us a like and a follow too 😉

South East Professional Wrestling website – http://www.sepw.co.uk

South East Professional Wrestling Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/SouthEastPro

South East Professional Wrestling Twitter – https://twitter.com/SouthEastPro

My Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/30SomethingTrainee

My Twitter – https://twitter.com/ski101

I’ll now hand you back over to your regularly scheduled reading material…..

Lee was taken to the back of the hall by H/C Matt and Luke (Chris Castle) to be shown how to back and front bump properly. I quickly snapped this without him seeing me, just before he took his first back bump.


Warm up complete, few sips of water downed, and it was cardio time. This is where I knew he’ll falter and I’d shine. That was until I saw the cardio list this week. Partner up and then eight stations, twice round and 45 seconds a time. The stations were:
Sit Ups
Push Ups
Back To Back Wall Sit
Plank and Jump (someone lays in a plank position while your partner jumps over you repeatedly)
Rope Running (still my favourite thing to do)
Whip Reversal (basically you and your partner keep reversing whips up and down the hall)
Lock Ups
And one other that I seem to have blanked from my memory as it was cardio session,and it’s  damn tough. You get the gist though.

I partnered up with Rhys and he kept me going, encouraging me, especially as I was fading on the second run through, so thanks for keeping me going dude! 😉

Every now and then I looked over and saw Lee absolutely blasting it, not holding back, and again showing me up. Great! I’m the “veteran” out of the two of us and he’s smashing it! I then knew I would have to play the age card when he would make sly comments later on. Sometimes it’s to my advantage that I’m older.

Cardio eventually finished, I took my leave and my asthma inhaler and sat outside for five minutes to catch my breath and not throw up, it’s what I usually do each and every Sunday morning! Lee followed me out and said that it was hard work but he’s glad he’s done it. He wasn’t sure before he started that he might not be able to, so he’s surprised himself. I replied by saying that he smashed it and has much better cardio than he first thought, and myself, which sucks beyond belief considering I’ve been training for nearly a year now dammit!

H/C Matt called us altogether and said that today’s lesson would be about rope work. And to start it off we would be doing the corner headstand up and over. Can’t get your head around my description? Then let Naitch show you how it’s supposed to be done….


Us students had to do exactly what Flair did right above. But to make it easier we would be doing it in sections. First learn to perfect the headstand using the ropes, then from that flip over the ropes. Easy huh?……NOPE! A lot harder than it looks and sounds!

A lot of us had trouble using our core to get to the headstand in the first place. In fact only Luis (Will Power!) and Nathan (MeatHead) did it without help.

A few goes on that move and the flip over the rope was be next. Again many had trouble doing it without help but that’s the whole point of the exercise. Practice makes perfect right?

With that move now in everyone’s memory banks, we moved onto the top rope itself. Remember, we’re being shown these things to maybe put them all together into one fluid move. Ric Flair headstand flip over top rope, run down the apron into the other corner, climb those turnbuckles and perform a move from there onto your opponent….Simples!

H/C Matt showed us all how to approach and climb the turnbuckle correctly and then stood at the top turnbuckle and explained that he is very comfortable up there as he used to use more aerial moves but not so much now.

We started off just jumping onto the crash mat but as we got more confident people were doing missile dropkicks, swanton bombs and other high flying moves from there. I looked at Lee as he was making his way up there and remembered what I told him about a first lesson. How it would be about how to bump, lock up, apply holds properly. And there he is, two hours into his first lesson about to jump off the top turnbuckle! Crazy!


To his credit he was picking things up really well and very quick.  I wasn’t jealous in the slightest…..much.

With top rope confidence building done, it was time to slow it down a tad. H/C Matt grabbed his laptop and gathered us all around to watch something. Something memorable and iconic. I’ll let the pics below speak for me.

Stone Cold Steve Austin bleeding like the proverbial stuck pig while being locked in Bret Hart’s Sharpshooter submission hold. There was silence amongst us all (apart from me as I was shuffling around to get the pics) as we watched the action take place on the laptop. Eventually Matt asked why was that image so iconic? The answer? It was the selling of the Sharpshooter etched on Austin’s face. Yes he was bleeding but the anguished look on his face was from the submission move applied by Bret. The blood helped it look even better, even more memorable. But it would be for naught if he wasn’t in that hold.

Matt then wanted us students to sell with our faces. To convey to the crowd just how excruciatingly painful that hold,or whatever hold they were in, actually was. He showed us how to apply the Sharpshooter, sit down into it and arch back. He then expected the person that it was applied to, to show as much pain and selling as they possibly could.

I have to admit right now, that part of the lesson was the best of any part of any lesson in the time I’ve been there. Seriously there were six pairs of men thrashing around and screaming in fake pain. It was sooooo damn awesome to see, and hopefully the following pictures show you just how fun it was.

See! How great are those faces?!

After about ten minutes of that, we were asked to use that same selling technique into other holds. Like a simple headlock for example. So again, the hall was filled with more grunts and groans than a Roman toga party and more facial expressions than a Kardashian TV show. Don’t believe me? Check out these bad boys…..

Seeing Lee’s face in that last one is fantastic to see. Not only is Ollie (2Tone) showing how much effort he’s putting into the move but Lee, one lesson in, is showing the discomfort of the move and thinking about how to escape it too. And Luis too? The concentration in the first shot that he’s showing in keeping that move applied, and then the selling in the third shot? Awesome stuff from everyone.

Of course it wouldn’t be an SEW Academy lesson without a bit of silliness, so ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, I proudly show you the Five Headlock Chain Of Doooooom!

KODAK Digital Still Camera
(l-r) H/C Matt (Mr Wicked), Jacob (Jack Voltage), Matt (The Rookie), Stu (Dick Valentine), Ollie (2Tone), Dan H (One Fan Dan & Senior Referee)

Slightly loosey-goosey hold there from Matt (The Rookie) in the middle there, but an awesome shot all the same!

And with that, the lesson was over. Home was calling and for myself and Lee, and an afternoon of cooking and butlering for our WAGS. The ring was taken apart and put away (I helped more here than what I did in the morning), we said our goodbyes and Lee proudly announced that he’ll be at the next lesson. He wasn’t the only one that was proud. My bro had taken the morning on headfirst, like a champ…..and blitzed it! By the end of the morning, he looked like he actually belonged there with us students. Proud of you dude! But if you do a better flip bump than myself (I do it on special occasions, like the beginning of training 😉 ) then we’re gonna have trouble, you dig? 🙂

So you’ve ploughed through nearly 2500 words at this point and I bet you’re asking yourself “Well where’s all this talk about evolution then?” And my reply to that is this…..

I’ve known Lee for a good few years now, and he’s always been a wrestling fan. A kinda casual armchair fan that enjoys the matches and appreciated the effort and athleticism from the wrestlers. After Sunday, he now looks at matches with more detail. He sees the holds, how they’re applied, the transitions. He now understands and appreciates even more the art of wrestling. Because of his first training lesson, he’s evolving into a better fan, a more clued up fan.

South East Wrestling has been in existence for nearly five years now, down here in deepest darkest Kent. With the surge of popularity in wrestling and more importantly British Wrestling, H/C Matt decided a re-brand was needed. He decided that SEW needed to evolve. Last Friday night, Matt posted in the super secret Academy group chat a video and this quote which blew up the chat……“Improving our image to improve our future”

South East Wrestling has now changed, evolved into a more polished, slicker product….South East Professional Wrestling. It’s a game changer folks, mark my words!

In the words of Sesame Street…..Today’s blog has been brought to you by the word “EVOLVE”, and it has been an absolute pleasure writing this (it’s always a pleasure before some smart ass messages me….)

The next edition of the blog won’t contain any training at all. That’s right, WrestleMania Sunday and there’s no training! How will you cope?!?! I’ll tell you how! By reading about how myself, some SEPW (see what I did there 😉 ) boys and close friends spent WrestleMania at a local bar for a private party and screening of the event itself! There will be embarrassing shots of the nights festivities and stories a plenty let me tell you! Hope you’re looking forward to it as much as I am.

So on that note, I’m off to spend some quality time with some resistance bands that I bought from eBay. See H/C Matt, I do some kind of training at home!

TTFN Folks! x

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s